Miscellaneous Writings

We spent the company's cash reserves, the coffee fund and borrowed money on destroying planets. In return, we got nothing but a box of Danish plastic. Read t...

A text logo alone isn’t enough if the goal is to subjugate humanity. That’s why we got ourselves a new trademark. Read the uncensored story of how the new lo...

Valco is the world’s friendliest little evil corporation, but in 2025 the joke is starting to stick in our throat. The headphone market is a brutal oligopoly...

We're proud to release our new flagship model, Valco VMK25.2. It's technically better, more stable, and more durable than its predecessor, but the price is e...

People expect us to explain why our headphones are superior. In reality, they’re just as good as everyone else’s. The real difference is what we do when they...

We proudly present the new Valco VMK15 model. They’re compact on-ear noise cancelling headphones designed especially for people with smaller heads or less mo...

Valco’s organizational structure is deliberately built around an unconventional organizational model that we call the Minion Model™. This is not a joke, but ...

We’re now founding our own unbelievably pissed-off marketing team, Valco’s Avengers, and we’re looking to start by hiring a couple of minions. We need a pair...

Valco Oy, the world’s nicest evil corporation and Finland’s leading headphone manufacturer, announces that subsidized investor Markus Eronen has made a succe...