Valco Laboratoriot

At the cabin, a speaker has to do three things: handle the damp, have a battery that lasts the whole evening, and not make the neighbour call the police. This guide was written by a company that sells speakers, so we're biased. We'll still tell you what to look for, and also what our speakers don't do.

Five things that matter at the cabin

1. Damp and water. The IP rating tells you what a speaker can take. IPX4 and IPX6 handle splashes and rain. IPX7 also survives brief submersion. No rating in the world means it's a good idea to forget your speaker at the bottom of the lake. In practice, every speaker Valco sells is urine-proof. With the MK3, customers have tested it.

2. Battery. Manufacturers' battery figures are often measured at half volume. At full blast the playtime drops noticeably, so leave yourself some margin.

3. Size and weight. This is of course purely a matter of taste, and what affects it most is probably whether you first have to walk several kilometres down a forest path to get to the cabin.

4. Playback without internet. Reception at the cabin can be weak. An AUX input and a memory card save the evening when streaming keeps cutting out.

5. Stereo with two speakers. Two identical speakers can usually be paired into a stereo pair. Check whether it only works with the same model. Ours only works with the same model.

Valco's Nordell speakers for the cabin

Nordell Micro (€39.90) is, in American units, the size of a bar of soap and weighs about as much as an apple, which for the rest of us means roughly 200 grams. It handles splashes (IPX6), plays for 3–6 hours, hangs from your belt loop, comes along into the hammock and is excellent for listening to audiobooks, for example. It has no microphone, and it's no festival machine.

Nordell MK3 (€99.90) is our survive-anything option. IPX7 means it survives submersion, and the stereo sound comes from two 20-watt drivers. The battery lasts up to 15 hours at half volume and at least 8 hours at full blast. It plays music from a microSD card without internet, and the microphone lets you take a call from the dock. On the racket scale, this one lands somewhere in the middle.

Nordell Max (€169) is the master of the terrace: 80 watts, adjustable bass and treble and a battery of about 12 hours. It weighs about 1.9 kilos and is splash-proof. In an emergency it charges your phone from its USB port. It also has white mood lights (or why not a night light, if you're afraid of the dark). The lights are white because we leave flashing coloured lights to kids and Temu speakers.

Tip: you can wirelessly pair any two speakers of the same model into a stereo pair, which doubles the amount of sound: Micro and Micro, MK3 and MK3, or Max and Max. Different models can't be paired with each other.

Where others win

If you need a speaker that plays across the whole lake, the party speakers from JBL and Ultimate Ears, the size of a small car, are probably what you're after. We also don't repair speakers the way we repair our headphones, at least not yet, so with speakers the warranty is what you rely on. Our trump cards are sound tuned by Jasse and excellent value for money.

Frequently asked

Can I take the speaker into the sauna? Well, maybe onto the lower bench, but you can't take it into proper sauna steam. Heat is bad for the battery and the electronics, whatever the IP rating.

Does the speaker work without internet? Bluetooth doesn't need internet if the music is on your phone. With Valco speakers you can also play music from a microSD card and over an AUX cable, even with no phone and no connection to anything at all.

How far does Bluetooth reach? The MK3 about 10 metres and the Max up to 18 metres in open terrain. Walls and people shorten the distance.

We sell headphones too: if the neighbour complains, buy noise-cancelling headphones. Either way, the money goes to the Death Star.